Challenging The Youth Violence Epidemic
October 24, 2009 at 3:22 pm 10 comments
I just watched OPRAH. Her guest was a teller at a check cashing store in Indiana, Angela Montez. On Monday, October 19 she was held up by a gunman. She stared into his eyes and said, “You don’t look like the kind of young man that would do this. Where is your momma? Can’t she help you? Where is your dad? Why are you so desperate that you would stoop to robbery?” Then she prayed, at first to herself, and then out loud, “Jesus help me, keep me alive so I can see my grandbabies.” She looked up from her prayer and noticed that the young man with the gray hoodie had not grabbed the cash from the drawer that she had left open.
He watched her pray with his pistol pointed toward her.
“And help this young man, Jesus. He needs your help! Help him to know your love and forgiveness. Help him to not do this, Jesus!”
Greg Smith put his pistol away, got down on his knees and joined her in prayer, “Would you pray for me, too?” He asked with tears in his eyes.
Maybe you’ve seen the footage. It’s all captured by a security camera. But the powerful scene was when Greg, in an orange jail jumpsuit, (linked by video) asked forgiveness from Angela on OPRAH, who was in studio with his mom and fiancee. Angela responded, “I forgive you, Greg. I love you.”
Even Oprah dabbed her eyes.

The Praying Robber
Greg is in his early twenties, a four-year veteran of the military, skilled as a heating and cooling technician; but his long-term unemployment and depression led to despair. He lost his way. He did something crazy. He did something violent.
When asked why he stopped the robbery, he responded, “Because I heard God speak through Miss Angela. I’ve never heard someone speak to me with that kind of love and care.”
His response echoes recent research from the University of Chicago.
“Children raised in violence tend to be more violent adults. Experts point to parenting classes as one way to help break the cycle of violence. Extensive research from one national study found that children of mothers in high quality parenting programs had an arrest rate 60% lower than their peers.” – Chicago Tribune Sunday, Oct. 11,2009 “Through these classes we help parents gain self-confidence and provide them the skills they need so they can raise children who are less prone to using violence as a solution to a problem,” said Kevin Limbeck, director of Family Focus, a community organization that runs parenting classes.
Our children, even those in their teens and twenties, like Greg, need guidance, love, support and someone to say, “You are more than this,” when they blow it. They desperately need someone to forgive them, but they need to be held responsible for their actions. That’s what good parents do: love and set limits.
Oprah closed her show with BeBe & CeCe Winans singing ‘Grace’ from their new album, Still. They dedicated the song to Greg and Angela. “I once was lost, but now I’m found. Was blind, but now I see.”
Our kids need love, limits and healthy role models; but they also need grace.
Timothy Smith www.ParentsCoach.org

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Entry filed under: Culture and Family, Parenting, Teens. Tags: Angela Montez, Bebe Winans, Cece Winans, forgiveness, grace, Greg Smith, limits, love, Oprah, parenting classes, Parents, Praying Robber, truth, University of Chicago.
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1.
Sherry Meneley | October 25, 2009 at 1:17 am
Great story, glad she had it told on her show, and glad it wasn’t over edited…
Kids don’t get enough love, I see it every week at Jr High Youth Group. Some hear more from their parents via text message than face-to-face. Breaks my heart. I don’t know if the issue is getting worse or just transforming into an equal ‘ick’.
Last note: I don’t mean to sound cynical or judging – but there might be hope for Oprah yet… She is mighty powerful, glad she allowed to show that Jesus is too.
2.
parentscoach | October 26, 2009 at 8:41 am
Thank you for your response Sherry. Yes, adolescents need love. They need to know that their parents accept them unconditionally, and that they are more than students, soccer players or artists.
3.
John | October 25, 2009 at 1:31 am
I love this post. Any post on forgiveness is so important these days (all days). Obviously this woman has Christ pulsating in your life and soul and that is what was revealed in a time of stress. What a beautiful moment. Thank you for sharing this.
4.
parentscoach | October 26, 2009 at 8:43 am
John, Thanks for your comment. When you watch the video, you see serenity, strength and love emanate from Angela Montez. God used her in a mighty way, with Greg Smith and with millions who watch it.
5.
nona reimer | October 25, 2009 at 5:28 am
Tim you are a good writer!
nona
6.
parentscoach | October 26, 2009 at 8:44 am
Thanks Nona! I take feedback from teachers very seriously.
7.
Pam | October 25, 2009 at 7:57 pm
I also watched this program and feel that true intervention came into this entire situation…I pray that this young man and his family get a second chance…yes he needs to be punished in some way but I know community service is a better answer then prision.
I hope Angela stays in Greg’s life and continues to guide him in all ways possible..
He just seems like a young man who thought he had no were to turn and only one way to feed his family…that wrong way..
8.
parentscoach | October 26, 2009 at 8:46 am
Hi Pam, thank you for joining the conversation. I hope the coverage provides justice for Greg Smith; which to me, seems like a short sentence and probation vs. prison. And wouldn’t it be powerful to see him in middle schools and high schools speaking to teens about choices? Now that’s a community service with impact!
9.
Sheryl Bullock | October 25, 2009 at 11:03 pm
Great post, Tim. Guess we never know what lies beneath the surface of a violent person. What an impact her prayer had. Imagine what would have happened if she hadn’t prayed.
10.
parentscoach | October 26, 2009 at 8:48 am
Thanks for the feedback Sheryl. Compassion is often forgotten in these situations. It’s so easy to quickly go to judgment and criticism. I think Angela didn’t judge and it caused Greg to pause.